Want to be a Better, Happier Person? Add Rituals & Ceremonies in Your Life
Take a page from the Rule of Benedictine Monks. Rituals and ceremonies give structure and meaning to your life like nothing else can.
“The hub of postmodern life strategy is not identity building but avoidance of fixation” ~ Zygmunt Bauman
Liquid modernity. Ever heard of it? I sure haven’t, until recently.
Liquid modernity is the idea that one should live one’s life unbound by life’s commitments, living for the moment, not fixated on anything or anyone, able to drop at a moment’s notice community structures and relationships for the next “thing”.
Which brings us to the next term to know:
POSTMODERNISM - WHAT EVEN IS IT?
Postmodernism is the current prevalent thinking/philosophy that has permeated the West. Whereas before the overriding philosophical outlook was based on rationality, objectivity and universal truth, postmodern thinking revolves around relativism, the diversity of human experience and multiplicity of perspectives. Truth is relative, what you believe truth is might differ from my belief of truth, but both are valid. There is no “Truth” persay, there is only your “truth” and my “truth”. Both may be completely and wildly (read: crazily) different, but both are legitimate.
This idea is not new. When a philosophy, world-view, perspective, culture or society diverges from a Higher Power and focuses on the human being as the ultimate source of truth, the path leads to confusion and delusion, but doesn’t remove the innate desire in the human being to “know” or want “to know” what is the truth or what is truly right.
A great example of this is found in the gospels of the Christian Bible. When Jesus told Pilate “anyone who is of the truth listens to my voice” (2) the response by Pilate of “what is truth”? is deeply revealing. It shows a glimpse into the state of Pilate’s mind, possibly even the minds of the leadership class of the Roman Empire of the day. Pilate probably should have thought of his view of the world as “the truth” because Rome was the undeniable power that ruled the world. Jesus was this little upstart guy, with a relatively small following of disciples, who obviously thought his view, his perspective, his ideas were the right way, the way of Truth - and more importantly, he didn’t shrink from telling Pilate what he thought. CRAZY!
Pilate obviously differed. In a way, very “postmodern”.
When this scene is understood in the context of the 1st century, when Rome ruled Judea, Jesus’s statement is not profound as we would think of it today but decently laughable. Here is this guy claiming to have the “truth” in a culture and context where SO MANY groups existed also claiming their way was “the truth”, who, by the way, were all conquered and vanquished subordinates by the Roman juggernaut.
I recently watch (again) Monty Python’s “The Life of Brian”, which is such a great “take” on the state of affairs in 1st century Judea. The scene in the amphitheater where the “People’s Front of Judea” (composed of four people by the way) noticed a solitary man sitting by himself, who happened to be the “Judean People’s Front” (one guy). Whatever you think of the irreligious nature of the movie, that scene was a classically British way of making a point through understatement. First century Judea was rife with many groups, some larger some smaller, striving for dominance.
That’s why Pilate is so interesting. He, in my estimation, reveals his inner struggle with the meaning of life in a relativistic context while having the opportunity to exult in his high position. This is what happens when the prevailing way of thinking is not settled on a defined, definite and subscribed way or manner of thinking but is tossed “here and there” by every wave of perspective, view and doctrine.
If the post-modernist is focused on the fluidity of culture, perspective and life and given to the progressive nature of relativism, the subsequent decoupling of tradition, ritual, and ceremony are the inevitable result. They are viewed as quaint anachronisms that have no meaning. In light of relativism, these types of activities impede development, waste time, and are of no value.
I, of course, beg to differ. I watch the postmodernist in a general way, and keep tabs on the outcomes of society, especially in today’s culture. Never has there been the prevalence of depression as there is today, the suicide rate is through the roof (even in young people). What is missing?
Meaning. Meaning to one’s life.
And that meaning can be found and reinforced by rituals that are celebrated through ceremonies, traditions, and customs that reinforce values.
WHERE DOES THIS IDEA OF RITUAL AND CEREMONY COME FROM?
Rituals and ceremonies are not a new concept. All cultures or religions have them. They have been conducted from the dawn of time. Ancient civilizations built monuments and practiced rituals to appease the gods, celebrate celestial events, honor leaders, and reinforce culture. All the great religions throughout history as well as world cultures used rituals and ceremonies as a way to reinforce the “thing” they were all part of.
There is one great example (out of many) of how rituals can reinforce belief systems and give structure to life. That example comes from the Hebrew scriptures - the instruction by God to Moses concerning the building of the tabernacle, how then the worship of Israel was to be conducted, and what items were to be placed within that structure and how those items were to be cared for.
What is so interesting is the symbolism of not only the rituals and ceremonies, but how the physical structure communicated to the people the type of emphasis what was holy and what activities were to be conducted. The tabernacle enclosed the tent of meeting, and in the tent of meeting was the Holy Place, which was separated from the Most Holy Place, or the Holy of Holies. Within the Holy of Holies was the Ark of the Covenant, made of gold, with cherubim located on top of the Ark guarding it. Within the Ark were Aaron’s staff, a portion of manna and the two tablets of stone where the 10 commandments, or 10 statements were written on. The 10 commandments were the ethical foundation of the Israelite community. Those statements gave the blueprint on how to live a good, moral life.
In the Hebraic tradition, the ritual housed and ultimately protected the ethical. CRUCIAL POINT! The ceremonies conducted served as a reminder of the belief systems of the community - the ethical system by which the community was to live, believe and act.
Rituals help us REMEMBER who we are and what we are about, and help us continue in our moral, ethical lives.
In the postmodern world, belief systems are relative, non-lasting, “fluid” and therefore ultimately forgotten and non-existent.
Resulting in no structure, no grounding, no sense of belonging, no community, no family, no unity and ultimately no sense of meaning and no happiness.
WHAT IF YOU HAD RITUALS, CEREMONIES AND CELEBRATIONS AND THOSE GO AWAY?
This is not a new phenomenon. The destruction of rituals is as old as any military conquest is. This is out of the playbook of victors over the vanquished. They destroy culture, rituals, ceremonies, celebrations so as to vanquish not only the people but also the way of remembering which was the vehicle by which the people remembered who they were. If people remember who they are, they can rise up and fight again to be who they are. They are a constant threat to the victors.
The task then of the vanquished are to somehow hold on to their traditions, their rituals and ceremonies in order to remain a group, an ethnicity, a people, a religion, a belief system. These ceremonies reinforce beliefs, a sense of who someone is, what they are to be, what they are to do, how they are to act, and ultimately how they engage with the world at large. They answer the question “who am I”. They constantly reaffirm through a way of educating newcomers and reminding oldcomers the identity of the community. When you know who you are, you know what you are to do and be, and with that comes a sense of peace and fulfillment.
Everyone is looking for it.
THE WAY OF THE AMISH
I’ve had the privilege due to the uniqueness of my job as a organic dairy fieldman to interact quite a bit with many Amish communities located around the Midwest, Mideast and Northeast of the United States. Each community is organized a bit differently, with different rules of living and commitments to each other.
However, what is ubiquitous about the Amish is the universal focus on certain rituals and ceremonies that all adhere to. The events that are celebrated are
Sunday as a day of rest that include a religious service at someone’s house
Marriage ceremonies
Reunions of families. Usually the Amish have big families, which the children then in turn have big families and therefore when reunions happen with families that include all the cousins, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc the events can be quite big.
Funerals. The death of loved ones is the catalyst for gatherings that typically turn into reunions.
These rituals, ceremonies and celebrations are the glue that hold the Amish together and serve as a reminder of who they are, what they are about, and what they believe. I once talked to an Amishman who was pretty open with me about his struggle with his faith. I asked him “why don’t you leave and live and do something else”? His response was so enlightening. He said “Well, I don’t want to leave my family, or my friends, or my community”. Powerful! Even when you struggle with your faith, the rituals that bind families and communities together can be, and usually are of such power that you almost can’t leave. Which is a testament to what rituals, ceremonies and celebrations do for us. They are not bad - they are good!
This is one of the key points concerning have rituals, ceremonies and celebrations in your life: they help you remember who YOU are. What YOU are about. What YOU are to be and done. It’s so powerful.
The key to rituals and ceremonies is: what do they prompt you to remember?
and that is the question.
THE THOUGHT TO THINK
First of all, what rituals or ceremonies would reinforce your values? If you don’t know your values, that’s a HUGE place to start. What is important to you? As mentioned above, the intense rituals as detailed out in the Pentateuch (the five books of Moses in the Hebrew Scriptures, or Old Testament) are primarily there so that the Israelites WOULD NOT FORGET who they were and what they were about.
Who are you? What are you about? What do you subscribe to as “the Truth”. Whatever it is, it will be reinforced not only in you but also in your children if you incorporate rituals and ceremonies that celebrate what you believe while helping your remember what you believe.
That’s how your values are passed on.
(1) Zygmunt Bauman, “From Pilgrim to Tourist, or, A Short History of Identity,” in Questions of Cultural Identity, ed. Stuart Hall and Paul du Gay (Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, 1996), 24.
(2) John 18:37 ESV